lowest form of life

does it ever feel like life is flying by and your sitting there watching it like a tv show. there's not a lot happening, your brain is never really required in daily life so it's just kind of on coast mode or auto pilot or whatever you want to call it. i think it's partly the routine that's killing me, nothing different. honestly i know what it is..i'm not a "party goer" i don't go out and drink all the time, i don't really go to parties, i call myself a christian and say i have standards i live by and beliefs, but at the same time i'm not really a christian. i go to church (sometimes) but that means nothing. so i'm officially a part of the established religion christianty, big deal. that's exactly what christianity is not about. i don't read my bible, i don't study, i don't thirst for knowledge (about anything really not just God), i pray when i want things or when i'm like oh yea God..hehe. so i end up stuck in some strange space/time continuem(whatever that means) not really caring about much and complaining that my feet hurt and i can't breathe, going to work and pissing away the day and ultimately coasting through life. i know what i have to do to give some meaning and purpose back into my life, but why don't i do it. one word:lazy. and it all boils down to another word:selfishness, which is mankind's biggest downfall, well one of them. it seems like everything results from me wanting what's best (or in most cases) easiest for ME. Number One. eff that, if we just had more love(as lame and cliche as it sounds) we would be driven to not be selfish. and at the end of the day don't you feel better about yourself if you've helped someone else than you did if you took that time to sit on the couch and be a lump? some of the most feeling i've had in the last while has been when i've done things for other people. not even big things, stupid things that most people don't even think much about. i think instead of sleeping when i get home i need to start reading or going to the gym or better yet, both! if you pray, i could use some prayer on this one.