btw

i don't really think i could kill someone

welcome to the suck

last night i saw Jarhead. i don't think i could be in the armed forces, but a part of me wants to. i won't, but a (small) part of me wants to. i think every guy probably has this feeling deep down like he should go out and be a real man and serve his country and all that propoganda..maybe i'll just buy a pellet gun and shoot cans in my backyard, yeah that would be hardcore. i think the hazing and whatever you want to call it would be the hardest part. i would probably cry and suck my thumb and think about my mommy at night. and then people would haze more because i was crying and wanting to see my mommy(i'm being over dramatic in case you didn't get it)..and then they'd always be saying things like, what are you a fag?? and i'd be like uhhh, no! and they'd say, yea that's just what a fag would say...yea that would be the hardest part for me. i could kill a guy no problem, especially if i built up a bunch of angst because of all the hazing...hmmmmmm..?

Starbucks

upon reading Natalie's blog i was inspired and reminded of a little event that took place not long ago. normally, i hate starbucks. i don't drink coffee, i'm not a vegetarian and i just hate the whole "scene" that goes on there. you've got your people doing homework, your people talking about school/homework/philisophical crap, and then the ever hated 15 yr old girls who dress up to sit and talk loudly about boys with their friends in starbucks. i feel like i have to be a university student or some intellectual soul to even walk in that place. (by the way i know i'm being over dramatic and if i actually wanted to hang out there or talk to people it would probably be fine, just stay with me)
so anyways now you understand how i feel about Starbucks. so the other night i was out getting a movie and Kirstin(the wife) asked that i bring her back a huge cup of ice blended caffeine, otherwise known as the "vente frapuccino". so me being the stand up guy i am, went in to purchase this icy beverage. after i ordered, the guy i ordered from says,"so do you like the new album?" at first i was taken back, suprised and i'm sure had the old "whaah?" look on my face. but shortly after i realized i was wearing my Thrice jacket and i could not contain the excitement. we talked for as long as we could but Starbucks being the busy place it is, had people coming in from behind me. i mentioned that i had just seen them in Seattle and he said he had wanted to go but couldnt..etc etc.. after our brief encounter it made me think..i want to be friends with this guy! but how do i get friends? most of the friends i have now are a result of meeting friends friends..i never just run into a guy and start hanging out, or say hey wanna be friends? it's not like in elemntary school where you could walk up to anyone at recess or whatever and say, hey wanna play? but how cool would that be. after i post this i probabably won't try to be his friend because he'll think i'm a freak haha but maybe i still will.
basically it was the best Starbucks experience i've had, ever. so one day i hope to finish that little conversation and possibly have another person i can invite to shows. so i guess the lesson here is, evenif you don't want to go to Starbucks for your wife, you should because you might meet a cool guy who likes the same music as you, and then you'll feel good twice because you can get home and give your wife the beverage and also have had a nic elittle chat.

i'm only funny when i make fun of people

you know those people who are really easy to talk to because they always have something interesting or funny to say or a good story to tell. i wish i were one of those people. whenever i try to tell a story it's something like..last night, i fed my dog! and he ate so fast that he needed to stop for a second because he would have choked! haha! and i get the old,"why in the world did he just tell me that" look. i'm not much better at telling jokes, if i remember the joke, i'll give a big grin right as the punchline's coming or else i'll forget something important at the beginning or halfway through so even if i do finish people are like "whaaahh???". i think it all comes down to the fact that i don't have very good short term memory.. i find it hard to retain things in my head unless i hear them over and over or do them again and again. this isn't really a cry for sympathy or anything just something i've noticed about myself. so if anyone has some interesting facts or good jokes, feel free to comment with them so i can read them over and over and remember, and then forget where i heard them and tell them to you in person. and so..the awkwardness continues..