i don't know what the plan is for my life

i just know that i really want to play music for a living. and i know that if my life is alligned with how God wants it he'll give me the desires of my heart. which would really be useful right about now. i know i want to do something i'm good at. and the thing i think i'm best at and i enjoy the most is writing, and playing music. learning new things sucks. which is a very narrow-minded thing to say i know but when i have things i'm already good or at least decent at that i've already spent time learning, it really frustrates me when i have to learn something new and am not good at it at first. i'm tired of anxiety about work and about money and all the brilliant ruits of life. i just wish and pray i could do what i love instead of trying to learn somethign new that i suck at, at first anyways. i know with practice and everything i can be better but i just wish i was past that point. or that people would be willing to give me more time to get good at somethign i have very little experience doing. i just wish i could go to sleep for 3 weeks. a nice coma would cure everything. yeah that's it

ps.go here www.myspace.com/wearethevaliant

now you're gone and i'm still the same

so a few weeks ago my wonderful wife flew in one of my best friends from denver. he was supposed to be here for a week but he ended up coming to big white with us too. and while he was here i took the whole time off work and while i was off i applied for a new job and got it. so it was a crazy couple weeks. it's still crazy actually. i've been training and i still need more befor ei can be by myself..oh and it's recycling truck driving..tough work but im getting used to it. um and i'm making a lot more than i was before which is nice. but if i crash in the first 3 months i will be fired so im really cautious and slow. anyways lots going on, havent had much time to blog or comment. luckily i have a 3 day weekend but i dont know how often that will happen. my schedule will be an on call type of thing so if it's difficult to make plans with me that it why. because any day i could get a call in the morning asking me to come in..or telling me to come in. who knows, not me. bye.